the Little Red Reviewer

Final Epic ConFusion post: the Epic Scott Lynch Post

Posted on: January 23, 2012

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This is part FOUR of my EpicConFusion posts. Click accordingly for parts ONE, TWO and THREE.

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Come on.

this is me.

of course there is a massive fangirlish Scott Lynch post.  If you’re not a fan, or you don’t know who he is, or you don’t care, skip this. It’s 100% fangirl drooling.  But now I can say I’ve met him!!

if you’re just here for updates on Republic of Thieves,  it’s about two thirds of the way to the bottom.

He was very nice. and tall. and has a lovely voice. and didn’t freak out too much when my attempts at wit came out horribly awkward.  Sunday morning I was pretty much following him around like a puppy.  Luckily his girlfriend (the wonderful Elizabeth Bear) was cool about it. Apologies that this may not be perfectly in chronological order. Epic ConFusion was that kind of weekend.

There was a mass autographing session on Saturday afternoon.  Not knowing how crowded it was going to be, I got in line early, planning to find Lynch’s table as soon as I got through the door. Not only was his the first table I went to, but I was the first person in line for his autograph.  I awkwardly said something about how I came to this con just for him, and that I’d been stalking him online, and if he registered for a restraining order against me by the end of the weekend I would feel like my mission was completed.  He politely signed my well loved copies of The Lies of Locke Lamora and Red Seas Under Red Skies:

For Andrea: You need to set more things on fire to get a restraining order. Cheers and Best Wishes, Scott Lynch

about 20 minutes later, I ran into a friend who was having authors sign the back of her t-shirt. I wondered out loud if Lynch would sign the back of my shirt. She said “go ask him”, and handed me her sharpie marker. I did.  He did.  Scott Lynch touched my shoulder.   

The most valuable FMA shirt in existence.

In fact, I think I’ll bring that shirt with me next year, and have other folks sign the back of it.

Later that evening I was hanging in the con suite (which was lovely), and was chatting with someone who recognized my Fullmetal Alchemist shirt. Scott and Elizabeth (are we on a first name basis yet?) were sitting on the otherside of the room, minding their own business, while I was surreptitiously adoring his long hair.  It was a long skinny consuite, so it was impossible to not over hear other people’s conversations.   Lynch probably heard my mind getting ready to pull his name into the conversation, so he said something like “that shirt is now worth considerably less”, and I replied with “I’m never going to wash this shirt”.  Confusedly, the woman asked why the shirt was suddenly worth less, and I said it was priceless because he (pointing to Lynch) signed it.  She said “who is he?” and I said “he writes the best, most incredible fantasy I have ever read”.   Things may have gotten close to getting something on file.

Scott did a reading from Republic of Thieves. it WILL be hitting bookstore shelves this year, possibly in June. He is contracted for 5 books, and if the publishers decide they like him, he will get 2 more books (trust me, they like him).  Book 3 is where things start to ramp up, with the series moving towards some type of large war.

Scott Lynch reading from The Republic of Thieves

I can’t give you any RoT  spoilers, because he didn’t. He described RoT as being the “awkward teenage years” of the Gentlemen Bastards.  The portion he read involved Locke and Jean, and Sabetha and the Sanza twins,and teaser: there was a bedroom scene.  Locke is obviously in love with Sabetha, but hasn’t figured out how to tell her, so he basically lets her beat the crap out him whenever she wants. There was much in the way of awkward teenagedness,  beautiful swear words, and giggleworthy moments. Scott even got to use his LOUD voice.  Twas truly lovely.

I followed him to the “Women in Combat” panel on Sunday. He was very well spoken, and seemed genuinely interested in discussing how to write a female character in a physically dangerous situations.  Being a firefighter, he’s got some experience in dangerous situations.  I’d pretty much been following him around for like 18 hours at this point, and I didn’t want to freak him out too much.  So I decided to freak out his girlfriend instead.  this may not be verbatim, but it’s pretty close:

me: thanks for letting me stalk your boyfriend all weekend, I just love his books so much.
Elizabeth Bear: it shows you have good taste.  and you’ve got great hair! Scott, she’s got better hair than you!
me:  wow, thanks!  Scott’s are the books that I read when I want to feel better. They’re theraputic for me when I need to escape my life.
Elizabeth Bear: you read his books to feel better? I worry about you.

Well, she didn’t try to kill me.  Cuz she totally could have.  I think she was also part bodyguard.

I guess the moral of the story is Scott Lynch is as cool as I’d hoped he’d be.   I’m happy he came to EpicConFusion, I know being surrounded by throngs of crazy hyper people isn’t one of his favorite things. He seemed to be doing okay, or at least was putting on a very good face. And now I want to read Elizabeth Bear. And I’ll get to read Republic of Thieves sometime this year.

Dear Scott – thanks for making Epic ConFusion so awesome for me.  I promise not to awkwardly stalk you next time.

26 Responses to "Final Epic ConFusion post: the Epic Scott Lynch Post"

I really need to read Scott Lynch. I have started the first book a couple times but the timing never seems right..


The time is now….right now! Stop reading this, and run to the book. Run!


Hooray! Good job! I find it so awkward to meet authors. “uh, hi i’m a completedipshitbutirealloveyourbooks and that’s allihavetosayokthanksbye”….*swoon!*

I’m curious about whether or not you’ll like E Bear. She’s a unique author who can write a lot of varied things. I especially liked her series that includes “Hammered.”

And JUST FOR YOU I’ll start my Lies of Locke Lamora tomorrow, ok?


“uh, hi i’m a completedipshitbutirealloveyourbooks and that’s allihavetosayokthanksbye”….*swoon!*

that was totally me, to like everyone. I was a total doofus.

I look up Elizabeth Bear, she is crazy prolific! Hammered looks like a good place to start.

Have fun with Locke Lamora! I hope you like it as much as I do.


It’s totally weird meeting authors, I agree. When I first met Brandon Sanderson I was like that. He, being the fantastic guy that he is, agreed to sit down with me and gave me some tips about getting serious about writing and how to get published. Great guy! I still haven’t met Mr. Lynch yet, but I’m hopeful that he’ll come near Philly at some point and I can buy him a drink or something.


Ps You’re totally allowed to post all the horrible photos and run on sentences. It’s a con-thing. 😉


Oh the Sanza twins *cry*. June? Really and truly? My birthday is in June. Just the other day I was thinking we may never see Republic of Thieves. I did most of this fanboy stuff with Seanan McGuire at Worldcon in Reno and she is just the nicest lady.


Happy Birthday to YOU! This could possibly be your best birthday ever.

And as soon as Republic of Thieves is out, we’re all going to be clamoring for the next book. . .


thank you so much for writing this up! i have just been quietly (ok, not so quietly) freaking out at work all afternoon because of it 😀


you’re very welcome. 😀


*dances a jig* Republic of Thieves in June – I thought it was later than that! It probably won’t be out in the UK at the same time though? Oh, I’m all happy and anxious at the same time.
Lynn 😀


His publisher is British, so for all I know, June IS the UK date, and it’s us Americans who will have to wait. I didn’t think to ask him if it was US or UK! thank goodness for and!


I loved all your write ups. Totally jealous. Never been to a con, heck, never even been to an author signing. Kinda weird, I guess. I seem to hear of any cool bookish events happening in the Philly area after it already happens. Although, there is an author who is a favorite of mine who does a lot of writing at a Starbucks like ten minutes from where I live, but showing up there would be utterly stalkish.

I cannot wait for Republic of Thieves. I’m thinking about doing the audiobook versions of Lies, and Red Seas to prepare, since I originally read them in print.

Thanks for sharing the fun.


I want to reread them both again too. I should pick up the audio, would give me something productive to do on those 3 hours drives.

I am incredibly spoiled by a local indy bookstore and the public libraries here. There are author events for local Michigan authors (that’s how I got to meet Jim Hines and Sarah Zettel last year)a few times a year. Visit all the bookstores and libraries in your area, and get on their mailing lists. You’ll know about all the awesome events a month ahead of time!

And you should totally go to the Starbucks. Apparently you and I have a long way to go before we’re considered stalkers!


This is ConFusion. You aren’t even in the running for craziest fan-stalker. We spent a whole con licking John Scalzi’s head once.

(Besides, Elizabeth just tweeted “I’m reading myself to sleep on Joe Abercrombie. #possiblydoingitwrong?”, so she might have some sympathy for stalkers.)

I wish there were more parts to this recap. This was my 9th ‘Fusion, so I’m used to all the cool stuff like having authors right there to talk to, just like they were real people. It’s great to see the reactions of someone who isn’t used to our particular brand of madness.


Well duh, it’s Joe Abercrombie!

there will be a final part to this recap, but not for a few more weeks. . . and I can’t talk about it yet. 😉


“You read his books to feel better? I worry about you.”

Ahahaha this made my day just now.

Also, YES, Republic of Thieves info! So excited.


I’m finally popping in to say that I loved all your con write-ups! If I’m ever at a con with Scott Lynch, I’ll totally want to follow him around like a puppy, but I’ll probably be too embarrassed to do so. More likely, I’ll end up being all shifty and conspicuous and maybe jump a mile into the air if he says anything to me. Then I’ll say something profoundly stupid in response and spend the rest of my life kicking myself over it.

Playing it cool around literary types is Item #3 on the list of Stuff At Which I Suck. (Unless it’s #4. I sometimes lose track.) I’m probably not built for cons.

Regarding Elizabeth Bear: you should totally read HAMMERED. And DUST. And CARNIVAL. And NEW AMSTERDAM, which is my favouritest.


Great post, thanks for showing us Scott is a nice guy with a great sense of humor.

And I’m pretty sure he wrote that you have to “set more things on fire” to get a restraining order. Very cool.


i can totally set things on fire. . . 😉


Thank you so much for this post! I have been agonizing over when/if the next book would finally come out!!


we’ve all been agonizing over it! You should join us on our Locke Lamora read along, right in time for book 3!

(cuz you can’t have a summer without pirates, you know!)


Now I’m intrigued by Scott Lynch’s writing. I haven’t read him, although I’ve certainly heard of Elizabeth Bear if she is who I think she is. Glad you had fun at con…they can be lots of un.


Yup, she certainly is the Elizabeth Bear you’re thinking of 🙂 I’m co-hosting a Lies of Locke Lamora (Lynch’s first book) in March, if you’re interested in reading him. We’ll read the entire book over 5 weeks or so, so not a huge reading commitment.


Wow. There are no words to express my jealousy. Can I touch your shirt?
It warms my heart to hear he really REALLY is the nice I guy I’ve thought him to be. (And that the restraining order takes some serious work.)

Seriously, choking on jealousy here. One day I’ll make it to America and a con Mr Lynch is attending…


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some of the books reviewed here were free ARCs supplied by publishers/authors/other groups. Some of the books here I got from the library. the rest I *gasp!* actually paid for. I'll do my best to let you know what's what.
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