the Little Red Reviewer

Disney / Starwars Mashup Episode VII, scene 5

Posted on: November 3, 2012

Yesterday we met our fearless bounty hunter / thief.  She dreams of training with the Jedi at their temple on Coruscant, but meanwhile she’s in trouble with her current clients who are getting ready to betray her.

Jumping forward in time a bit, she’s made a deal with the devil to get to Coruscant where she trains with Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.  Skywalker sure has his hands full, he’s got very little time to train new Jedi Knights, and little does he know there’s a secret agent in his latest crop of too-old students:

I’ll Make a Knight out of You.

(Sung to “I’ll make a Man Out of You”, from Mulan. Watch those pauses, they’re killer)

Let’s get down to business
to defeat the Sith
Did they send me farmers?
and not Padawans?
you’re the oldest bunch
I ever trained
but you can bet
before we’re though
One day I’ll make a knight
out of you.

Tranquil as a forest
but craving excitement.
Don’t think of adventure
Jedi craves not, those things.
You’re a sloppy slow
distracted lot
and you haven’t got a clue
Somehow I’ll make a knight
out of you.

(various padawans sing)
I’m never gonna catch
my breath
Say good-bye to
Tatooine
Boy was I a fool in school
for cutting gym
Skywalker’s got em
scared to death
hope he doesn’t see
I’m really Sith
Now I really wish that I
could use the force!

As Jedi
We won’t give in to
the dark side ever
As Jedi
with all the force
of the universe
As Jedi
With all the strength
In our power
Mysterious as the
dark side of Naboo

Time is racing towards us
till the Sith arrive
heed my every order
and you might survive
You’re too old to train
It’s preordained.
So pack up, go home
you’re through
How can I make a knight
how of you?

(Chorus repeats twice:)
As Jedi
We won’t give in to
the dark side ever
As Jedi
with all the force
of the universe
As Jedi
With all the strength
In our power
Mysterious as the
dark side of Naboo

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3 Responses to "Disney / Starwars Mashup Episode VII, scene 5"

Are you trying to secretly tell us you are the script writer for those new movies?

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I’m secretly trying to tell you i’m a complete goofball.

oh wait, that wasn’t a secret?

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Thanks for the like! I really enjoyed reading some of your posts – although this is my favourite – I’m a special fan of Mulan.

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